Why won't new affirmations work for you 97% of the time? Let's find out, the truth about affirmations.
This blogpost was inspired by a conversation with a good friend about the importance of language in everyday life. Thank you for your heartfelt presence & inspiration my friend!
I have felt so rebellious against the hype around "affirmations" for so long. Which is interesting because as a hypnotherapist, they are one of my main technical instruments.
Here's why: new affirmations won't work for you, unless the dominant thought of your subconscious mind ALREADY agrees with them.
Affirmations that you consciously decide are a good idea for you.... are conscious. 3% of your mind thinks they are a good idea.
But it is because 97% of your mind (subconscious) does not accept that idea, that that NEW idea, has not become your natural instinct, behavior, and way of being already.
If you already felt confident, you wouldn't need to say "I am confident" in front of the mirror 20 times. And if you DON'T feel confident on the inside, to say "I am confident" outloud feels to your body like it's not the truth.
Does that make sense?
New Affirmations = anything you say, speak, put up on the wall, that you desire to be true, but isn’t currently true about your life.
So yes, you can change your language and start doing the 'work' to activate a new way of being, behavior & response pattern to life--this is an essential part of consciously rewriting our life, and learning to inculcate new qualities & behaviors. It is important. Sometimes it does work. It's a good beginning place. Recognizing what needs to change.
However, if merely changing your language, or the superficial paint-job on the wall, doesn't alter the quality & strength of the actual wall & foundation of your home... then that paint job is not that helpful in the long-run. You feel me?
If your new way of speaking, doesn't stick, isn't natural for you, doesn't feel easy.... that is an indication that deeper work needs to be done.
Trying to plant new affirmations into your entire being, without having 97% of you on board, and 100% supporting the new vibration...
..is like trying to plant a rose in a garden, by sticking one you bought at the florist shop, straight into the soil.
That’s cool and all but, you did not give that rose an opportunity to propagate and have roots before you planted it. It has zero support from the soil, which is meant to deliver nutrients & water to the ROSE & its growth.
It MIGHT grow.
But without those roots naturally proliferating, the Rose will wither and die, and You’ll have to keep it propped up with support if you insist on it being a continued permanent member of your garden, and yet, even then, it will start smelling, looking, & feeling different.
It’s just taped on to the Earth, with sticky tape & a planter rod to hold it up.
It’s not really alive.
It's not really authentically true.
It’s not really embodied.
You don’t feel better when you say that new affirmation of “I am loved, loving & lovable.”
Because guess what, no matter how many times a day you say it, it doesn’t make it more true.
Because your body doesn’t BELIEVE it is true.
So essentially, now your body feels like you’re lying to it all day long—saying something that It doesn’t feel is true. And now your body feels lied to and abandoned.
Amazing. Your body now feeling disconnected from your voice, the chasm grows.
It's hard now for you to hear OTHER people say things that are actually true “But Lopa, you are so worthy & innately lovable!? Why would I lie to you? I”m telling you the truth. I love you.”
And you’re like “No. No one loves me. I am not lovable. I’m alone and abandoned.”
(My goal is not to scare you away from using new affirmations, however, doesn't this line of thinking sound all too familiar? I know many of us have faced the frustration of wanting a new belief to be the truth NOW but in the sanctuary of your own mind, you feel alone and as if it's never going to happen.)
Truth my friends… how many times have you actually felt like that, and tried to make yourself feel better by saying self-affirmations, and ended up feeling more sad & frustrated than you started? My heart goes out to you if you’ve been doing affirmations for months & it hasn’t been working. Whoever taught you that technique, does not know how the subconscious mind works.
The subconscious mind, 97% of your entire being on all levels, can and will only accept a new thought, idea or belief, that is ALREADY foundationally accepted by your subconscious, and which is the dominant thought of the subconcious—aka nothing new. It will only accept you saying “I am loved” if you ALREADY believe you are loved.
This is my area of expertise.
There is a way to speak directly to your subconscious mind and share a new belief there, INSTEAD of putting it in the conscious mind by saying it outloud as an affirmation. That way is literally called hypnosis & self-hypnosis.
What we do together is create roots & a fertile foundation for the new belief you’d like to accept about yourself, so that when you plant it, it will actually be accepted. This is what happens in hypnosis audios, self-hypnosis and hypnosis with me 1 on 1.
If you’re ready to plant new beliefs, affirmations, ideas, & ways of being into the subconscious with sustainability, my Audio Activation Bundle is a gorgeous place to start.
Clearing the field of anything that doesn't belong is how space is made for new fertile roots, and seeds of light. **This bundle also currently includes a Masterclass on how hypnosis gets results.
Either way, I hope that this insight serves you, and you no longer have to feel like you’re “doing it wrong” when you keep telling yourself the new truth you want to believe, but it’s not sticking.
When a new language pattern, way of speaking to yourself, doesn’t stick, it means deeper work is required. You're not doing it wrong. You are infinitely capable.
With so much love,